Posted by: Will | July 23, 2008

From Allison

I have been a fan of That’s What She Blogged for quite some time. It is a funny look into the life of a young wife, mom, professional, and woman. The wit is something that I always take away every time I read it and try and incorporate that outlook into my daily life. And every so often Allison finds herself in positions that I thought would only happen to me. This is one of those. Please enjoy!

The unthinkable happened last weekend.  My extreme dorkitude collided with my affinity for the gym in a way so profound that I had no choice but to blog about it.  I realize that by doing so, I am risking all remaining semblance of my dignity.  However, if I can keep this from happening to just one other person, it will all have been worth it.

The imp and I were enjoying a typical Saturday afternoon at the gym’s indoor pool.  She splashed, and I hovered.  She frolicked, and I rubbed chlorine out of my eyes.  This continued until Matt signaled through the window that he had 10 minutes remaining on the treadmill.  I then forced persuaded the reluctant imp to get out of the pool and into the locker room.  We always use the same shower stall (the bench and the wand make it perfect for cleaning a small child), and I was dismayed to see that our stall was taken.  I noted that the occupant’s leg was in need of a good razor and headed back to the pool to stall for a few minutes.

When we returned, I was pleased to find our shower stall empty.  However, I noticed that the bench and the wand were missing.  I peeked into a couple of shower stalls and found one that did have a bench and wand.  I figured that there must have been a compelling reason for the gym to make the switch.  Once we were in the stall, we disrobed and started the shower.  We had our usual shower ‘conversation.’  She said things like, “Mommy, put bubbles on my belly,” and I said things like, “Wash all the bubbles off.”  This continued for several minutes until something strange happened.  I heard a very deep voice coming from the dressing area.  A masculine voice.  A man’s voice.  Then it hit me….the hairy leg, the missing shower bench.  I was in the men’s locker room.

I WAS IN THE MEN’S LOCKER ROOM.  NAKED IN THE MEN’S LOCKER ROOM WITH MY LITTLE GIRL.

“What do I do now?” I thought.  I had to think quickly.  I became acutely aware of how many times the imp had called me Mommy during the shower, and about just how loud her voice is…never mind the fact that I was talking very loudly (in my very non-male voice) about the bubbles on her belly.  My first order of business was to put my bathing suit back on in record time.  Then I finished the imp’s shower because, what difference would another half minute make?  And then we fled.  I booked it back to the pool deck and ducked into the women’s locker room.  Somehow, miracle of all miracles, I never actually saw a man in the men’s locker room.

I don’t really know how it happened.  I go there all the time.  I know which door is the correct door.  Even if I had forgotten, the doors are clearly labeled.  For crying out loud, how dorky am I?  I shudder to think what would have happened if I hadn’t heard that man’s voice.  We most certainly would have paraded into the dressing area (where the imp and I would have certainly seen several undressed men and vice versa).

I learned an important lesson…the same lesson I’ve been teaching the imp for the past couple of months.

Always look for the skirt symbol on the door before proceeding.  Always.

PS! Send my your fitness stories!

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Responses

  1. OH….MY…GOD. I spent 10 seconds in a boys bathroom at age 11 on a dare (and freaked out a boy who was peeing), but that was of my own accord.

    I CAN’T BELIEVE that happened to you!! And by what luck were there no men in there?? (well except for that one….)….and putting the imp on the shelf for just a second—-ummm…I wonder what would happen if a single chick “accidentally” used the men’s locker room???….???

    Okay, that’ll be enough now 😉

  2. Thank you for letting me join your fitness party 🙂


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